Many teachers will say their job drives them to drink, but luckily most of them do it outside of school hours.
A special education teacher in Kentucky was arrested Tuesday and charged with alcohol intoxication in a public place, after he was found in the parking lot of Evarts Elementary School, slurring his speech and smelling of alcohol. He refused a sobriety test.
Matthew Hubbard, the teacher in question, worked at the school for approximately two months prior to his arrest (prior to that it is said he worked in another county, doing who-knows-what, for many years). Pending the ongoing investigation, he has been suspended from his duties at the school.
Evarts Elementary School in Evarts, Kentucky is a PK-8 school within the Harlan County Public School System. According to GreatSchools it is about average in terms of math and reading proficiency, and while the student population is 96% white, it is also 83% low-income.
“We’ve got spirit, yes we do! We’ve got spirit, how ’bout… Poo?”
For a high school in New Jersey, this could very well have been the cheer at sporting events.
Thomas Tramaglini, the 42-year-old superintendent of Kenilworth School District in Kenilworth, New Jersey, was taken into police custody on the morning of April 30. Law enforcement “caught him in the act,” so to speak, arresting him while he ran on the track of Holmdel High School, which is within a neighboring school district. He was charged with lewdness, littering (toilet paper, or just poop? so many questions…), and defecating in public.
It was noted that the Holmdel H.S. track is only about 80 steps away from public toilets. Tramaglini not only failed to make use of those toilets, but had been leaving daily “gifts” on the track long enough that surveillance cameras were installed to learn his identity and the time it was occurring.
Tramaglini was placed on paid administrative leave until the end of the school year, as if this is supposed to comfort us. He has a contract with the state of New Jersey until June 30, 2020, which essentially means they cannot fire him unless there is an indictment or tenure charges, so their hands are tied. Don’t you just love how tenure works? He’s currently at home, collecting his $147,000-a-year paycheck, while he waits for his day in court later this month. He was also an adjunct professor at Rutgers. Way to pick ’em, New Jersey.
While runners are known for sometimes experiencing the need to “eliminate” when running, the fact that Tramaglini was intentionally defecating on high school property every day shows that he is not mentally stable.
The only upside to this story are the meme-worthy comments and hashtags that have been trending about the case: “Pooper-intendent,” “Public Enemy #2,” and “Pooping Tom,” to name a few.
Of the many questions remaining, perhaps one is most on everyone’s minds: Which school is Tramaglini pooping at now?
Where Your Children Are 